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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Love or Arrange Marriage - Heaven or Hell

I would like to try and start this topic (Love marriage or Arranged marriagewith little humor : ) Yes, you may know that joke; however, I would like to share it with you all.

Love marriage is just like "Suicide" whereas Arrange marriage is like "Well planned murder". Shaadi ka laddoo khaiye tho bhi pachtave aur na khaiye tho bhi pachtave. Anyhow, Arrange and Love marriage are like you are on the rope with long stick balancing to stand and alive till you reach the desired destination. Both have equal chances of succeeding or hitting the rocks. Arrange and Love marriage both will work out if the partners are really committed to making the combination work for self, relatives and society...

There is always question about this contest topic, which one is correct? Love marriage or Arranged Marriage? Sometime Love marriage looks like violating the domestic or religion policy; on the other hand most of the times arrange marriage is fully looks like abide by the domestic and religion policy. Even beyond this policy, are love marriages successful or the arrange marriages successful? Which one is actual success till the end of the one's life history? Are you looking for a happy marriage? Are you puzzled in finalizing which one is better Love marriage or arranged marriage? Which marriage our elder, community and nation usually supports? Let us see how these two girls discussing it in the college café / restaurant – I just heard it and sharing with you all.

Preethi and Neha, both sitting silently in the café and sipping the cappuccino with some serious mood. Preethi slowly starting the conversation with Neha.

Preethi: Do you think that love marriage is incorrect option in our society rather in our country?

Neha: Majority of them says love marriage is wrong one but youth follows it, it is a nature in the particular age that love marriage looks boldness, there will be pros and cons in every aspect.

Preethi: Do you think arrange marriage only a correct option? See, in love marriages couples know each other prior to their families know about their interest, choice and love. If they fall in love each other and if they are ready to be honest with each other then couples decide to get married without involving their parents.

Neha: I feel arrange marriage is satisfied by all family members, whereas in love marriage just couples satisfaction than their families. In love marriage, some of them used to inform their parents about their love and once they refused it then couples try to marriage without involving parents in few cases. In fact, Indian marriages are linked with arrange marriages, since our Indian culture is unique though it has many religions & castes but almost all the religion & castes believes and follows arrange marriage customs. This customs happening from many centuries in India, it is believed that only arrange marriages are successful.

Preethi: How about the success of love marriage as well?

Neha: By experience and considering the past history, the elders saying that most of the love marriages were never succeed but few. Whereas, most of the arrange marriages are successful but few arrange marriages have also lead to broken up. Considering the overall result for both, arrange marriage is better option.

Both (Preethi & Neha) of them receiving Sandwiches, taking big breath and having sandwich bites, they continue topic discussion...

Preethi: If you fall in love, you accept that you have got your dream partner. You feel that there is no one like him/her, he/she get in your life.

Neha: Yes, I agree but we must be patience on this stage, since we alone can’t decide our life partner in few seconds or hours but few days that can work out for self and our family members to know overall personality and satisfaction to all. See, in arrange marriages both bride and groom can be strangers to each other of course including for other family members as well. In this case, couples try to find newness in each other every day and try to build the strong relationship and compromise. One will be eager to know about the other, couples each other has to follow the religion custom and other families formality etc.

Preethi: How it could be, all of a sudden and without knowing each other if we start living with a stranger and if we cannot adjust with a partner. Also, possible that couples dislike and not overcome then that may lead to unsuccessful married life.

Neha: No, arrange marriage is not happening all of sudden. First of all both the side elders used to discuss about the choice of the bride or groom family, and slowly couples come to know about it and realize that they are about to marry which elder is going to consult and decide, also engagement decision prior to marriage makes even strong combination. Unexpected scenario could even happen to love marriage when you are really come to know that the person is not whom you were waiting for after the marriage.

Preethi: In love marriage, after knowing our partner properly we decide to get married. We need not have to put more efforts to know how our partner is in the later stage, because we have already selected him/her after matching our like-minded.

Neha: If families do not agree the (love marriage) couples may take wrong decisions. Not only this but when the natural situation creates dislike in your love marriage then it may also lead to an unsuccessful marriage. In love marriage, couples families rarely get involved and you will be alone responsible for whatever problem you face.

Preethi: Sometimes the families may agree for our life partner chosen in love marriage and sometimes you need to be adamant in your decision to make them agree for it.

Neha: It would be the happiest moment for the couples if things goes smooth in whatever marriage it could be. On the other hand, love marriage won’t work out always for every important occasion like arrange marriage does. Love marriage couples has to live alone after marriage without family members connection and support, or even family member support then the customs in the religion can come across for like and dislike situation. Normally, love marriage couples thinks themselves as mature enough than their elders and do not find it necessary to consult their parents before making marriage decision. In turn; parents too won’t consult with your issue after or during marriage. In many occasion, parents worries about the caste and the family's background of a bride or groom. In very rare cases they agree love marriage only for the sake of couples prosperity and happiness.

Preethi: Is it the Indians mentality which do not support love marriages especially if it is inter caste or the same caste?

Neha: No, it is not about Indian mentality. Most of the foreign country does supports only arrange marriages, and love marriage percentages may be little extra in other countries compare to our country. Whether it is a love marriage or an arrange marriage, one cannot decide which is more successful. Couple has to follow so many customs after married, in love marriage partner won't accept the customs or possible for argument. As you know, marriage is a knot between two heaven souls of male and female which should be accompanied strong throughout couple’s life. 

Neha continuous...Other than these, trust on each other, commitment, understanding, adjustments, compromises are the key points for a successful marriage. It is not necessary that every time a woman or man only should follow the commitment rules, but equally and when necessary. When his or her companion supports overall then definitely their marriage stands successful. A right knowledge about the bride/groom and little more luck will make the marriages work excellent.

Preethi: Why love marriages fail?

Neha: There are couple of reasons for it, I will tell you few. If you have ego between relationship, or not aware of being cheated with hidden reason, or struck somewhere on the process of regular life, or less compromises and adjustments, or if there is lot of expectations from each other’s, or no relatives cooperate at any cost at any time.

Preethi: Why arrange marriages fails then?

Neha: There are so many reasons as well, I will tell you just few. When family doesn't progress inquiry on bride or groom and their families before marriage. Parent's choice mismatching for couple, or, due to financial crisis on a bride's family, bride may face hard time after marriage (like dowry case). If one of the partners character mismatch or behave over rude, such marriages will not run for a long time. Sometime bride or groom family is responsible for break ups the wedlock.

Preethi: How to be succeeded in both the type (Love or Arrange) of marriage life?

Neha: Well, you need to have a good planning on what you decide. Without planning our future life one can't self satisfied, it is also because of marriages not only influence the people who are getting married but their families and future dependents too. Since couples are comfortable with each other, they will positively lead a happy life. To make your married life successful one should follow smart approach for good beginnings. It's well said that marriages are made in heaven. It is the couples hand to make the heaven in their married life without changing their marriages toward hell. We need to remember to be happy on our own with other family members in both the sides, at the same time we need to balance our family spirit, faithful on community, religion customs and formalities too.

Both (Preethi and Neha) of them conversations were going on, since Neha has seen many incidents even within her family and relatives as such, thus she was capable to reply Preethi. However, I got confusion on their conversation and try to escape from this listening important fact at the college restaurant.

Now, you have to plan. Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage – Heaven or Hell (it is in your hand).

A Very big thanks to all the visitors and readers.

This story is written for Sony TV's show 'LoveYaArrange Marriage' contest on Indibloggers.
Please visit
Kindly refer Indiblogger for this contest.
Courtesy: Sony TV Shows - Tele-serial Picture.



  1. You have posted a good conversation with some good arguments. Nice efforts for making an article on argumentative context.

  2. Thanks to Saurabh and Nadeem for your valuable comments.


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